Transitions are hard

My name is Alexandria Sure and I am going through some serious transitions in my life. I’ve lost over two hundred and twenty pounds in the last two years. Let’s stop for a moment and really absorb those words. I have lost the amount of weight of a grown ass man. That’s a lot to mentally deal with as well as physically.

Yesterday, I walked into Old Navy and purchased a pair of jeans. I walked into a NORMAL people store and purchased jeans. I cannot express to you the emotions that accompanied this experience. Not only did I purchase a pair of jeans … but they fit!

I’ve been overweight my entire adult life. Not just overweight but super morbidly obese. In 2017, I wore a 6X top and size 36 pant. My clothes were purchased either online or at the ONE store that carried my size. Not only did the size 18 pants fit … I needed a belt. A freaking BELT. I have never worn a belt in my life. PS … they feel weird.

Another change for me is going out to different events/bars with friends. Some of you may read this and say ‘I’ve seen you hang out at author events’ … TRUE FACT. There is something magical about author events. The community of readers and writers is a wonderfully special place. As long as you love words, you are accepted with open arms. I adore that about our tribe.

For the first time, I’m meeting people as a ‘normal’ sized person. This is a big change and I am learning as I go. Some friends say ‘stop overthinking everything’ just have fun. First, that just makes me overthink more. Second, I wonder if they realize just how much of a change this is for me.

As a super morbidly obese female, I worried about things that I don’t think most people send time worrying about. Will I fit between the tables, will I fit in the chair, can I make the walk from the car to the table, am I embarrassing the people I’m with? All these things went through my head every single day.

Funny enough, I still have moments of panic, when I go to a new spot, that I won’t fit into the chair. I am always pleasantly surprised. But, the worry remains in the back of my head.

Now … add men into the mix. Imagine if you will, walking into a bar for the very first time as a ‘normal’ sized female. It’s scary and wonderful all at once. I do need time to learn how to NOT overthink every situation. I do need time to learn how to be comfortable in my smaller body. I do need to learn that I am enough as I am at this moment.

OKAY! OKAY! OKAY! Time to pull this post out of the depths of my latest therapy appointment. Jeez.

Subject change REQUIRED … I’m editing my latest book, Slow Drip. It is part of the Cocky Hero World and I’m excited for you all to get to know Anderson and Jurnee. I’m writing in the  Stuck-Up Suit world and having a great time with Graham and Soraya. If you haven’t read Stuck-Up Suit, I recommend you do so before you pick up Slow Drip.

Finally, I’m thrilled to share a secret piece of me with you. I used to ride horses. I competed as a kid/teen in horse shows. One goal that I’ve had since being approved for weight loss surgery is getting back on a horse. I am soooo close to realizing my goal. This spring I will travel to my ex-riding coach’s farm to ride. YEP!!!  Every single day of my life, I have wished that I could loss enough weight to ride again. Well, I’ve done it. As soon as the weather breaks, I’m hitting the highway to Kentucky to go horseback riding. Stay tuned!!

This is a photo of me and my pony, Goldie, at my very first horse show. We came in third place.

Goldie

7 thoughts on “Transitions are hard

  1. Ann Lopez says:

    I am beyond thrilled for you. You are a wonderful person whom I love seeing and hugging at book events. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. Riding again will be exhilarating and memorable. How old were you in the above picture?

    Like

  2. Cindy Tanner says:

    I’m sending you all the virtual hugs. I didn’t think anyone else had the same thoughts I have. The past two years I have realize how much my weight and size hold me back. Literally when I can’t fight into places I want to be and how mortifying it is to face those things in public. Your journey is amazing and inspiring!! I grew up with horses and I miss riding them. I am so excited for you to get to re experience something you loved and have worked hard to achieve again. ❤️

    Like

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