Emojis and men, w/ a dash of overthinking

What the hell is going on? Hope you are safe, sane and using any and all means to keep yourself occupied. *coughs* Tiger King. *cough*

How many times have I been on the phone with one of my girlfriends trying to help them figure out what some guy meant by the three emojis he just sent. Long gaps in text exchanges have been filled with people all across the land trying to figure out what the hell the person that they like meant by these three particular emojis. Now, I’m living it.

I’ve met a guy that makes me smile like I’m back at my locker in the halls of Sexton High School. I could tell you he’s kind, intelligent and ridiculously cute but that would be too easy and boring. While I won’t tell you who he is, what he does, where or when we met, there a couple of things I will open up about. So, mom* … please do not even ask!

I will share that we are as different as we are similar, that he is a protector by nature and an explorer in every sense of the word. He shares many of the traits I admire most in the people I am closest to. And, he makes me laugh.

Save all the awwwww. This is VERY new and we are in a pandemic. So pump all the brakes on the DMs, texts, calls, FB posts. This is NEW NEW. Why am I writing about it if its new? Because damn it, we’re in a pandemic. No. Really. This blog is about me being raw and real about my life. Whether I post every day (WHATEVER … it could happen) or when the mood strikes, I turn to this place to express my fears, face my obstacles and share my bits of lessons learned.

Let’s set aside the fact that this is April 3rd and there is a pandemic that has dramatically changed most if not all of peoples lives. This is the first guy that knows me as me post weight loss surgery. Let me say it a different way, this is the first potential relationship with me weighing less than I weighed in high school.

Why the hell does that matter … you may say to the screen. It F*@king matters. I feel like I am experiencing what Kennedy must have felt with Max in Credence Woods. [Fun romance about a successful woman learning how to fall in love] For the record, I’d probably write it very differently now.  Geez, I’ve become the not as wealthy version of my character. Excellent.

So, yeah. Emojis and men. What the heck are we supposed to do about this conundrum? I’ve gotten a little better about asking what a particular set of emojis means and, so far, all smiles … all smiles.

Look … repeating the fact that this is one hundred percent new. Living in today and all the stuff we tell ourselves as the feelings inside grow. You have to know what I’m talking about. When you push next on any song that isn’t about how love makes the world go round. The dumb smile that spreads across your face when your get a text from him and you are in a group of people watching you. YEP … all that.

So, what’s next. I don’t know. We will all have to wait patiently and see where this goes. You know, when the pandemic comes to an end.

Ohhhhh … overthinking. Yeah, I do that. All of my friends, all of my life have said ‘you’re overthinking’ to which makes me think WAY MORE. This pandemic has not helped the situation. What have I been doing to try to keep a lid on the whole overthinking thing? We talk about it. I’ve been more open about my insecurities and asking questions instead (well, while) worrying about something that may have been a misunderstanding. Imagine that … open, honest, communication. Look at me being an adult.

Even writing about him is something that is way out of my comfort zone. Will talking about this jinx whatever this is? Will my family bug the crap out of me for details so they can put their best FBI investigation hats on? Will we discover that down the road that we were meant to be just friends? Whatever it turns out to be, it will be. Today, it’s good and I’m smiling.

Stay safe. Stay sane. Keep smiling.

Alex

Xoxo

IMG_4466Sorry about the goofy smile … can’t be helped.

*Seriously, Mom, don’t call.

One thought on “Emojis and men, w/ a dash of overthinking

  1. chrissy2501 says:

    I wish you a lifetime of happiness. Your heart is so awesome may he see you and all that you are. I will don’t bug you for questions. I just want to see you at your happiest..xo

    Like

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